The Parody Beyond the Looking Glass
by Phenomenon
Summary: [CH. 2: MEOW?] After watching it disappear, Miroku sighed and sat on a fallen log. “You were like a brother to me…even thought you would’ve ultimately killed me, little b.tch.” R&R NOT A ONESHOT!
1. Boomerang Tag

_How goes it, people? I would've started this a loooong time ago, but for accuracy's sake, I wanted to watch the movie again, and doggone it, my DVD player wouldn't play it. Fixed that problem quick, though, so here's the first chapter. Be ye warned: for this whole parody, every romantic moment will be ground into dust for the sake of humor. And, as I say in all of my stories, no character is safe. YES, THERE ARE SPOILERS, SO I'D THINK TWICE IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IY MOVIE 2._

_I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters._

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**Boomerang Tag**

On the night of the new moon, Inuyasha, Kagome, Shippo and Myoga are staying in a small hut, waiting for sunrise. While Kagome, Shippo, and Myoga are pretty bored, Inuyasha has found something to bide his time. He looked in Kagome's hand mirror and flipped his black hair over his shoulder. Apparently, the result he got wasn't good enough, because he heatedly swore and snapped the mirror shut. "This isn't working!" he exclaimed, "I can hardly see in here! There must be a little more light outside…"

Shippo quickly denied that request. "Number one, no there isn't, it's a new moon. And number two, you can't leave here yet! If you do, Naraku will know you lose your powers on the night of the new moon!"

"Ditto," Myoga said with boredom.

Kagome used this opportunity to take her leave. "I'm going," she told the rest of the group. As she was about to walk out of the door, Inuyasha called her. "Kagome," he said. She turned to look at him.

"Remember what I told you," Inuyasha said, "CYA."

"CYA," she repeated, and left the hut. After she left, Inuyasha looked back into the mirror and tried flipping his hair again. "Dammit!"

"Um, what are you doing?" Shippo ventured to ask.

Inuyasha snapped the mirror shut and glared at the little fox. "I'm trying to perfect my hair flip, duh! Kagome says if she flips her hair perfectly, then she has full power over any man! _I _want full power over any man!" Just to prove he was serious, he tried the hair flip one more time. It looked more like a hair flop.

"Oh-kay…" Shippo said slowly and looked the other way.

"Ditto," Myoga said with boredom before falling into a crack in the floor.

Outside of the hut, Kagome stopped by a pond to stretch, since it was so cramped in that hut. She looked at her surroundings: dead trees, water, more dead trees. "It's quiet," she remarked to herself. A fish then popped out of the water and screamed, "Can I turn the volume up for ya!"

Meanwhile, in the forest, Naraku was running as fast as he could, which was pretty fast since he was wearing the baboon pelt. Hiraikotsu was gaining on him, so he jumped to avoid it. The boomerang sliced through a few trees before returning to Sango's hand. "I'm not liking this game of Boomerang Tag," he remarked.

Kirara sailed over Naraku to cut him off. Upon landing, Sango hopped off, holding Hiraikotsu over her head. "Oh, please," she replied, "You beat my whole village in Spider Tag. I'm just returning the favor!" She swung Hiraikotsu; Naraku jumped onto the end and spring-boarded away. "Screw you and your twisted game!" he yelled over his shoulder while heading out of the forest. Sango took pursuit once again on Kirara. "Miroku! You're in!"

Miroku, who'd been waiting at the edge of the forest, pulled on his hand's prayer beads. "Awesome, I love Boomerang Tag!" Naraku saw the monk and stopped in his tracks, but it was too late. "Wind Tunnel!" The baboon pelt was being dragged by the black hole, but within, Naraku was replaced by the Saimyosho. Miroku angrily closed up his Wind Tunnel before they reached him. "Hey! Who said they could play?" Naraku's pelt flew in his face, and when Miroku moved it, Naraku hoisted him up by his neck. "Who said _you _could play?" he asked accusingly.

"D-didn't you know?" Miroku choked out, "Boomerang Tag is short for Boomerang-slash-Black-Hole Tag." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, a Sacred Arrow amputated the arm choking Miroku.

"You mean, Boomerang-slash-Black-Hole-slash-Bow-and-Arrow Tag!" Kagome said proudly.

Naraku glared daggers at the archer. "Wench! That was my _pimpin' _arm!" Another arrow went through his stomach. "Was that your pimpin' abdomen?" she asked him. Dust clouds surrounded him, though his voice could still be heard: "Grr…know what? TO HELL WITH THIS!" Naraku promptly exploded.

"Uh-oh!" Kagome cried as she was hit with the impact. Luckily, Shippo was behind her and transformed into a balloon to catch her. "What happened, Kagome! I thought Inuyasha told you to CYA!" Shippo was screaming.

"I tried, Shippo, I really tried!" she replied, close to hysterics.

"Whoa!" Miroku yelled as the impact hit him as well. Kirara caught him, and together they turned to face the new form their opponent took. It was a nasty brown spider with huge fangs and blood red eyes. "No matter what game I play," Naraku growled, "I'm only good at one: Spider Tag!"

"If he thinks this game is over, he is sadly mistaken," Sango said, scowling. Kirara flew over to Kagome and Shippo, who were gaping at the huge spider.

"Kagome! Did you tag him?" Sango asked.

"Yeah!" Kagome answered.

"What about Inuyasha?" Kagome shook her head

"Oh well," Miroku said, "He's missing out on a fun game!"

"Round 2, Kirara!" She roared in response and charged towards the spider.

Kagome loaded another arrow. "Let's go, Shippo," she said.

"All right…" he said, but didn't move. Soon, he broke into a huge sweat. "Arachnophobia…kicking in…"

Sango threw Hiraikotsu first. The boomerang would have made a direct hit if there was no barrier. "Ha! Tag that!" Spider Naraku taunted.

Meanwhile, Shippo finally gained his nerve. "Me too!" he said while transforming into a seagull. Kagome observed this and said, "Hey Shippo! You turned into a pterodactyl!" Shippo looked at her and said, "You can't tell me they don't have medicine for astigmatism in your time." Kagome aimed at the spider, but Shippo backed out when it began walking towards them. "Aaaah! Squish it!" he squealed. "No Shippo! We can't run away!" Kagome said. The spider began to emit a fog-like substance from its mouth. "Can we run now?" Shippo said sarcastically, and turned tail.

Going back to Miroku and Sango, Miroku suggested that they destroy the spider's legs. "Good idea," Sango agreed, "Under his belly, Kir-" she stopped mid-sentence due to the event of being groped.

"Three seconds," Sango said, deathly calm.

"Possessed ha-, wait, I already used that one. I couldn't help mys-" Sango slapped any other words away. "What do you mean, 'I couldn't help myself?'"

Inuyasha looked at the scene through a crack in the hut. "What? They're playing Boomerang Tag without me? Those ingrates!" He grabbed Tetsusaiga and headed for the exit. Myoga watched him and attempted to stop him. "Ditto!" he yelled. "Shut up!" Inuyasha said while stepping on him. Before he left, Inuyasha heard Kagome's scream. This brought him to look once again through the crack in the wall. He saw Rabid Spider Naraku chasing Seagull Shippo and (insert adjective here) Kagome this way. Shippo flew up to avoid Naraku, but the spider was still barreling towards the hut. Inuyasha recoiled and tried to back off, but it was too late. The spider's leg leveled the hut.

At the same time, beams of light were racing across the land. Before the dust cleared around Inuyasha, the light came to him. Now, restored as a hanyou, Inuyasha pointed Tetsusaiga forward. "Count me in, guys," he said, "What's Boomerang-slash-Black-Hole-slash-Bow-and-Arrow-slash-Demon-Fang Tag without me?"

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_I think I'll stop right there. The way I made the characters OOC bothered me a little but eh, who cares? I don't know how long this story is going to be, but I'll just write in increments until I reach the end of the movie. I plan on stopping next chapter where Miroku loses his Wind Tunnel. We'll see what happens. So was it funny enough? Review please!_


	2. Meow?

_Yo! Thanks to my reviewers for chapter 1. I won't let you down! And I know that a lot of people are reading this but not reviewing, and hey, that's cool, but if you have some constructive criticism, let me have it! Okay, enough about that. Same goes now as it did last chapter: no safe characters, romance is dust, yes there's spoilers. Oh yeah, and I'll try not to be too random, lest I lose the movie plot._

_I do not own Inuyasha or any rights to the movie._

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Meow? **

Inuyasha now charged towards our aforementioned rabid spider. "Ha! You sucked so much at Boomerang Tag that you gave yourself a handicap? This is going to be one easy game." Myoga somehow managed to catch up with him and gave him some pre-battle-, er, pre-game tips. "Ditto…ahem, I mean destroy his barrier with Tetsusaiga!"

_Barrier? _Inuyasha thought, _F#cking baby._ "Yeah!" Inuyasha cried the affirmative.

"Okay, see ya!" And Myoga was off. _What? _Inuyasha thought, _F#cking baby._

Kagome and Shippo landed in front of Inuyasha. Shippo, now back in his fox form, had his tiny arms crossed. Inuyasha was scowling at Kagome. "Kagome, what happened!(?)I thought I told you to CYA!"

"I tried to tell her," Shippo mumbled.

"I tried, Inuyasha! I really tried!" Kagome cried again, throwing in a pinch of melodrama.

"Keh, whatever. Just tell me what other tricks Spider Boy has." They both turned to Naraku. Kagome put a hand on her chin. "Well, that jewel shard on his back looks suspicious." Inuyasha decided to let the blonde moment slide, and launched into the attack. With one Wind Scar, the barrier was history.

Sango hurled Hiraikotsu, then looked over her shoulder at Miroku. "Take the other side," she ordered.

"As you wish," he answered as Kirara dove under the spider's belly. Hiraikotsu destroyed four legs on the left, and Miroku took care of the four on the right. Needless to say, Naraku was in pretty deep crap. And it was about to get deeper.

Inuyasha pounced on Naraku's back, stabbing the middle as far as Tetsusaiga would go. Whilst removing it, Inuyasha noticed something amiss (the bubbling flesh was a clue), and leaped away. It was a good thing too, because Naraku promptly exploded. Again.

How monotonous.

As soon as Inuyasha landed, he began hacking away at Naraku debris, but his work was in vain, as the pieces just reassembled themselves. Soon, disgusting green tentacles surrounded Inuyasha, and a voice came of its midst. "Can you blame me for having a handicap? It's one against frickin' five…six, if you count Scooby-Doo over here." He was referring to Kirara. I'll just say, if looks could kill. "Inuyasha should be on my team!"

"Not on your life!" came the heated reply.

On the side, Kagome caught another blonde moment and raced towards the danger. "Inuyasha!" she called. As soon as she got within an arm's length of him, Inuyasha shoved her away. "What did I _tell _you?" he hissed. On the ground, Kagome huffed. "This CYA thing is harder than I thought."

Kagome's blondness apparently rubbed off, because here Shippo came, doing the same thing Kagome did. Of course, he turned tail as soon as one of those tentacles got too close. Sango and Kirara began the assault as well, Kirara especially holding a grudge. Miroku tried a few hamafudas but, oh my gosh! Those little pieces of paper weren't working!

Inuyasha, still in the middle of all of the tentacles, was starting to squirm. "These things…are way too close to my mouth!"

"Inuyasha, get out of there!" Kagome yelled.

"You don't have to tell me twice." And with a hop, skip, and jump, Inuyasha was away from the tentacles and wiping his mouth with his sleeves like a maniac.

Kagome rolled her eyes. "Hopeless," she muttered.

"Can you blame him?" Sango asked, "I mean, who wouldn't get philematophobia after kissing Kikyo and ending up with a mouthful of clay and dirt?" ((A/N: philematophobia--fear of kissing))

"I would," Miroku agreed.

Meanwhile, Naraku's torso and a few more spider legs shaped out of the swarm of tentacles. "See, Inuyasha? I'm immune to sword cuts! My offer is still up…" Inuyasha wasn't trying to hear that. "No way, shut up!"

In the corner of this commotion, Miroku had an idea. A lightbulb—or should I say, candle—appeared over his head. "Sango!" he called while throwing his staff. She caught it with her free hand. Attaching it to Hiraikotsu, Sango spun a few times before hurling the boomerang as hard as she could. It cut Naraku straight through the middle. As his upper body was flying through the air, Naraku made one last comment: "I still say we should've played Spider Tag…"

Inuyasha answered with a Wind Scar, followed closely by Kagome's Sacred Arrow. Now the game was over. Know how I know? Because Naraku promptly exploded. For good this time, though.

There was wind and light everywhere. Everyone held onto something so they wouldn't blow away. After one final flash of blinding light, all traces of Naraku were gone.

At this same point in time, Kikyo was walking through a dead forest. Suddenly, she stopped and looked over her shoulder. "I just got the greatest feeling," she said, then looked at her closest soul collector. "Bill, do I still have any of Onigumo's love letters?" A silent reply. Kikyo—insert shock here—broke into a wide smile. "Good. Tonight, we'll have a bonfire."

Also, Sesshomaru was minding his own business. He stopped his walk to look over his shoulder. "Cameo," he said, then continued walking.

Next, we come to Kagura, who was having a pointless one-sided conversation with Kanna, when suddenly she felt something in her chest…and immediately dropped to the ground, writhing in pain. "How could I have forgotten…?" she groaned, "I had a heart attack right before Naraku stole my heart!"

"Naraku…is dead," Kanna concluded stoically, but inside, she was panicking. _Must…find…new master…quick…_

Finally, we come to Kohaku, who, just like everyone else, stopped dead in his tracks. "Sis owes me 5000 yen." He blinked. "Who's sis?"

Back with Inuyasha and company, the smoke had finally cleared. Sango peeked from behind Kirara. "Score one for the team?" she asked.

Shippo bounced up to Inuyasha and reiterated. "Did we destroy Naraku?" Of course, he was asking the wrong guy. The right guy was checking for himself. He took away the prayer beads and moved the cloth. Sure enough, the Wind Tunnel shrunk into nothing. After watching it disappear, Miroku sighed and sat on a fallen log. "You were like a brother to me…even thought you would've ultimately killed me, little b#tch." Shippo joined him on the log. "What's wrong, Miroku?" he asked.

"Shippo," Miroku answered lightly, "Look." He moved his right palm in the little fox's face, which invoked bloody-murder-like screams.

"What are you doing!(?)" Shippo cried from the safety of the log's hollow, "I told you I'd pay you back next week!"

"No, Shippo. Look." His hand was still out. Shippo looked up, involuntarily screaming again, but stopped when he wasn't met by a black swirling vortex.

Inuyasha, Sango, and Kagome then instantly caught the same brain wavelength. "The Wind Tunnel's disappeared?" they all said at once.

Kirara took this time to transform back into her smaller self. "Heck yes!" she cried to the heavens.

Everyone stopped what they were doing to look incredulously at the fire cat. She looked back at them with the same look.

"Um…meow?"

_

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About the parentheses question mark thing...the bots keep taking away my question mark/exclamation combo, and I didn't like it! _

I just realized something. This is going to be one really long fic. I hope you guys are in for the long haul! What I have to decide now is if I should make longer chapters and update less often, or keep the chapters this length and update more often. I know I'm using a lot of inside jokes, but I just can't let go of that CYA thing! Boomerang Tag is over though. Thanks for playing, and review!


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